So it's been over a week of complete sobriety, and that means caffeine, and junk foods as well. It started Jan 2. I'm letting myself detox for 2 weeks, before doing any exorcises outside of walking.
Now for those concerned, I don't feel I was addicted to alcohol, it was just a problem. I didn't crave it, or drink daily. What I would do was not stop when started up, and eand up doing stupid shit! Like driving, other drugs, careless sex, insult people and general meanness. This behavior was predominate in a club or party atmosphere. Plus I gained weight, and dropped tons of money! Alot of parasites are gonna feel this! I would spend more on a weekend than they would make in a paycheck.
This isn't a new idea for me, when I used to hang out with Davey Havok, he would influence me to not drink. He was like my older brother I never had. But he was too beyond my perception. It would've been more real if he just didn't drink, or do drugs. But he worked out everyday and was a vegan. So that made his convictions unreachable for me. But I always envied him for this.
Another influence was my dearest departed friend, Rozz Williams. But in the opposite way. I DIDN'T want to end up like this! But again he was beyond my scope of thought. I watched him slowly put himself to death with drugs, and alcohol, living (dying) everyday in physical pain, till he ended it himself. But I didn't use herione, or wake to drink a plastic handle of vodka per day.
What really got me was I really thought to myself, what happened to the 28 inch waist, 130lb Julian? I knew WTF happened, age and alcohol! So the only cure was dying young, or stop drinking. Well I already did one of those, so now it was time for the later!
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